My Notebook
I process my thoughts and feelings in writing much better than I do using spoken words. So, as you might imagine, my journal is a one of my most valued possessions.
Once upon a time I would hand-pick my journal, something pretty with texture and color, and I would use it exclusively for ramblings of the mind. These days, I use a simple spiral-bound notebook and fill those pages with all sorts of things. Thus, it becomes a bit of a time capsule for me.
My latest notebook has been with me since the start of this year and I have used it for everything: lists, calculations, plans, notes, ideas, etc. The sight of its sky-blue cover fills me with affection. I know it will listen to whatever I have to say. It will help me solve riddles and make decisions and express feelings. It will supply the solid lines and spaces for me to do the work that is needed on any given day.
As I flip through its pages, now almost completely full, I have a catalogue of what I have been working through these past 7 months. It has been an active time for me creatively and my journal reminds me of this when I need reminding.
Reflecting on my entries, I recognize themes, the BIG things that I wrestle with endlessly. This offers me insight into my fears, my biggest obstacles and the patterns of behavior that keep those obstacles in place.
Also embedded in the scribbles are the clues to help me to break those patterns. These discoveries are akin to precious gemstones. I land upon something so true it makes me gasp. Then life moves on and I forget again, retreating into my struggle until I unearth the next clue.
And so it goes. Life is an adventure that is rich and complex. I take pride in trying to experience it wholly. Up, down and sideways. My notebook is a trusty companion on this fantastic journey. It is there for me when I am excited and grateful. It encourages every new idea. And when doubt threatens to overwhelm me it shows me that, at the very least, I am always trying.
I adore my notebook for harboring that evidence and for helping me to move forward, one word, one page, one step at a time.
